Dee’s Inbox

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, “Sisters, you all Led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go Back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.
The first nun says, “I want to be Sophia Loren;” And * poof* she’s gone.
The second says, “I want to be Madonna and *poof* she’s gone.
The third says, “I want to be Sara Pipalini..”

St. Peter looks perplexed. “Who?” he ask
“Sara Pipalini;” replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, “I’m sorry, but that name just doesn’t Ring a ! bell.”
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says, “No sister, the paper says it was the ‘ Sahara Pipeline’ that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months.”

If you laugh, you are going straight to hell!

I LOVE this one…..it will make your day. —-

Send this to the Seniors in your life…I’m sure they’ll appreciate it!!

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “seniors’ special”
was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.

“Sounds good,” my wife said. “But I don’t want the eggs.”

“Then I’ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine
cents because you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress warned her.

“You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?” my wife
asked incredulously.

“YES!!” stated the waitress.

“I’ll take the special then.” my wife said.

“How do you want your eggs?” the waitress asked.

“Raw and in the shell,” my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home.

DON’T MESS WITH SENIORS!!! We’ve been around the block more than once.

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in; She turned and said, You’ve got to make love to me this very moment.”

His eyes lit up and he thought, “This is my lucky day.”
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, “Thanks,” and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asked, “What was that all about?”

She explained, “The egg timer’s broken.”

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses,
the results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their ass is too fat…………

10% of women think their ass is too skinny……

The remaining 60% say they don’t care, they love him, he’s a good man,
and they wouldn’t trade him for the world.