Dee’s Inbox

AND THE WOMEN WHO ARE

STILL WAITING FOR HIM…

tags: perfect men, the perfect man, waiting for the perfect man, wind up man toy, wind-up man

tags: funny christmas videos, funny xmas videos, funny youtube video

ultrasoundofdevelopingbaby.pps

tags: look how fast a baby grows up, ultrasound humor, ultrasound of a developing baby

tags: funny motivational posters, inspirational email humor, inspirational posters

Mary had a little pig
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

************ ********

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
************ ********

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
************ ********

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
“What have you got there?”
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
“Pies, you Dumb Ass”
************ ********

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings’ horses,
And all the kings’ men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
************ ********

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
************ ********

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too ’cause he was gay.
************ ********

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad……..
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

tags: adult nursery rhymes, funny adult emails, funny nursery rhymes, naughty nursery rhymes

A step-by-step instructional video on how to stop an office gossip.

tags: funny office video, funny redneck video, office how-to videos, redneck videos

When doing your Christmas cards this year, take one card and send it to this address. If we pass this on and everyone sends one card, think of how many cards these wonderful, special people, who have sacrificed so much, would get.

When you are making out your Christmas card list this year, please include the following:

A Recovering American Soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue, NW
Washington, DC. 20307-5001

If you approve of the idea, please pass it on to your e-mail list.

tags: chain emails, christmas cards for injured soldiers, patriotic emails, political messages

Two Kentucky hillbillies walk into a Dairy Queen. While having a couple
of Blizzards, they talk privately about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, eating a corn dog, begins to cough.
After a while, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, “Kin ya swallar?” The
woman shakes her head no.

“Kin ya breathe?”

The woman begins to turn blue; eyes widen and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly strolls over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and
quickly gives her right butt cheek a long lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the corn dog
flies out of her mouth. She begins to breath again.

The Hillbilly ambles smugly back to his table.

His buddy says, “Ya know, I’d Heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’,
but I ain’t never seed nobody do it!”

tags: funny email forwards about hillbillies, redneck humor, the heimlich maneuver, the hind lick maneuver

WOMAN’S LOVE POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to
“how big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end, and always be my very best friend.

MAN’S LOVE POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar on a
golf course, and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This doesn’t
rhyme and I don’t give a shit.

tags: funny email forwards, man poem, men’s poems, women poem, women’s poems

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading our culture,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to
as ‘HILLBILLIES.
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore…
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ - She is a ‘BREASTED AMERICAN’
2. She is not ‘EASY’ - She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’
3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ - She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR
OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ - She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED
COMPANION.’
5. She does not ‘NAG’ you - She becomes ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ - She is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ - He has developed a ‘LIQUID
GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’
2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ - He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’
3. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ - He ‘INVESTIGATES
ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’
4. He is not ‘BALDING’ - He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ - He develops a case of
‘RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’
6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants - It’s
‘REAR CLEAVAGE.’

tags: funny politically incorrect emails, political correctness ridiculousness, politically correct humor