political correctness
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading our culture,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to
as ‘HILLBILLIES.
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore…
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ - She is a ‘BREASTED AMERICAN’
2. She is not ‘EASY’ - She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’
3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ - She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR
OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ - She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED
COMPANION.’
5. She does not ‘NAG’ you - She becomes ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ - She is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ - He has developed a ‘LIQUID
GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’
2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ - He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’
3. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ - He ‘INVESTIGATES
ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’
4. He is not ‘BALDING’ - He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ - He develops a case of
‘RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’
6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants - It’s
‘REAR CLEAVAGE.’
tags: funny politically incorrect emails, political correctness ridiculousness, politically correct humor