Dee’s Inbox

REMEMBER WHEN YOUR MOTHER TOLD YOU NEVER TO TAKE CANDY FROM A STRANGER….

..THIS IS WHO SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!!!

tags: candy with stranger, never take candy from this guy, stranger candy, stranger than candy, this is why you shouldn’t take candy from a stranger

tags: funny man song, subservient man song, subservient men, the man song, the milton show man song

tags: contemporary homes pose a landing issue for santa, funny xmas cartoons, roof too sloped for santa to land

Great News!

Click below:

christmas_bonus.pps

When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our troops around the world.

‘Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Amen.’

There is nothing attached. This can be very powerful. Just send this to all the people in your address book. Do not stop the wheel, please.

Of all the gifts you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine & others deployed in harm’s way, prayer is the very best one.

prayer wheel for our soldiers, don’t break the prayer wheel, pass along to support our troops, inspirational emails, support troops emails, inspirational chain emails

Subject: Christmas Party
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All Employees
>
> DATE: November 23, 2007
>
> RE: Christmas Party
>
>
> I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party
> will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function
room
> at the Grill House.
>
>
> There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a
> small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along.
>
>
> And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa
> Claus!
>
> A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts
> among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over
> $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering
> is only for employees!
>
> Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
>
> Merry Christmas to you and your family.
>
> Patty
>
> ********************************************
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All Employees
>
> DATE: November 23, 2007
>
> RE: Holiday Part y
>
>
> In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our
> Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday,
which
> often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However,
> from now on we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.”
>
> The same policy applies to any other employees who are not
> Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
> There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols
> sung.
>
> We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy
> now?
>
> Happy Holidays to you and your family.
>
> Patty
>
> ***********************************************
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All Employees
>
> DATE: November 23, 2007
>
> RE: Holiday Party
>
>
> Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
> Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table .. you didn’t sign your name.
I’m
> happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that
reads,
> “AA Only”; you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore.
>
> How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
>
> Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are
> allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and
> executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE
> ALLOWED.
> ———————————————
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> To: All Employees
>
> RE: Holiday Party
>
>
> What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20
> begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
> during daylight hours.
>
> There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a
> luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’
> beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until
the
> end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in
little
> foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
>
> Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to
> sit farthest from The dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table
> closest to the restrooms.
>
> Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
> have to sit with Gay men, each will h ave their own table. Yes, there will
be
> flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table.
>
> To the person asking permission to cross dress, no
> cross-dressing allowed t hough.
>
> We will have booster seats for short people.
>
> Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
>
> We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for
> those people with high blood pressure to taste first.
>
> There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the
> restaurant cannot supply “No Sugar” desserts. Sorry!
>
> Did I miss anything?!?!?
>
> Patty
>
> ************************************************
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All F****** Employees
>
> DATE: November 26, 2007
>
> RE: The F****** Holiday Party
>
>
> Vegetarian pricks I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going
> to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you
can
> sit quietly at the table furthest from the ” grill of death,” as you
> so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f****** salad bar, including
organic
> tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice
> them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW! I hope
you all
> have a rotten holiday!
>
> Drive drunk and die,
>
> The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!
>
> ****************************************** ***
>
>FROM: Acting Human Resources Director
>
> DATE: November 26, 2007
>
> RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
>
>
> I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a
> speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the
> meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give
everyone
> the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
>
>
> Happy Holidays!

tags: classic holiday email forwards, holiday party humor, holiday party office humor, political correctness to the extreme

tags: charlie brown misery, funny adult swim cartoon, funny adult swim holiday peanuts gang skit, peanuts gang humor, sally kills snoopy, sickness, snoopy gets it

You’ve got to see this.

1st look and see the Whale under the water.

Keep your cursor OUT of the picture until you see the Whale.

Then move your mouse cursor onto the picture, but stand back, you might get wet (it’s like it’s 3D). Click on the picture when it loads completely and be sure that your sound is on

CLICK ON: Worlds Most Dangerous Creature

tags: worlds most dangerous creature

So there I was . .. . just relaxing in front of the T.V.

When the kids yelled, “Hey Mom! Come see the kittens.”

tags: animal humor, baby skunks, funny photos, pseudo kittens

DEAR MADAM:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER
FROM OUR SEX TOYS WEBSITE.

YOU’VE REQUESTED THE LARGE RED
VIBRATOR AS FEATURED ON OUR WALL
DISPLAY.

PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER ITEM.

THAT’S OUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER

tags: funny xmas emails, naughty xmas email forwards, naughty xmas emails, raunchy xmas emails, xmas buyers beware