24th January 2008

Why you never question a drunk

posted in Just Plain Funny |

A woman was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice

A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
‘You must be single.’

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the
derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at the six items
on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that
could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said: ‘Well, you know what, you’re
absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?’

The drunk replied, ”Cause you’re ugly.’

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There are currently 9 responses to “Why you never question a drunk”

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  1. 1 On December 2nd, 2008, Samm I Amm said:

    Saw this referenced at http://www.SubliminalMessages.Com . Brilliant! Just wish I didn’t drink the cough syrup before visiting.

  2. 2 On December 4th, 2008, Jackies Jungle » Blog Archive » Why You Never Ask a Drunk a Question said:

    [...] Some how alcohol makes you more honest but probably just too dumb to lie. Today I came across Dee’s Inbox. At this site there this joke entitled, “Why you never ask a drunk a question.” [...]

  3. 3 On December 4th, 2008, Jim Mcfalls said:

    Loved it.

  4. 4 On December 4th, 2008, Madam' I'm adam said:

    Alternately…

    A grotesquely hideous and ugly woman walks up to the check-out counter at a grocery store with her two kids. As she placed her items on the belt the clerk asked “Wow, are those kids of yours twins?”

    The woman said in astonishment “Well of course not, my older child is 12 and my younger one is 4. They don’t even look similar. Why would you think they are twins?

    The clerk replied “Well, because you’re so damn ugly that I can’t believe anyone would be dumb enough to fuck you twice.”

  5. 5 On December 6th, 2008, ENkjd said:

    The internet is not a dumpster.

  6. 6 On December 8th, 2008, Emily said:

    ^ above is good but dont mention the ‘grotescly hidieoous and ugly’ bit, uins the joke.

  7. 7 On December 9th, 2008, Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said:

    It is funny because it didn’t happen to me.

  8. 8 On December 10th, 2008, nertz said:

    and then the clerk was fired and had to resort to selling drugs to children to pay his bills.

  9. 9 On December 14th, 2008, mark said:

    played

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