Dee’s Inbox

When you walk out the door in the morning
and see this, in the sky…..

Just go back in the house, pour another cup of coffee, and stay there.

It probably isn’t going to be a good day!

tags: cloud formations, funny weather forecast, interesting cloud formations, what do you see in this clould formation?

New use for Windex

It’ll keep you from streaking.

Have a Great Day!

Now, COME ON! That is funny. I don’t care who you are!!!

tags: streaker drinks windex, stupid email forwards, uses for windex

At 85 years of age, Morris married Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their Wedding she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected “knock” on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Morris, her 85 year old groom, ready for action.

They unite as one. All goes well, Morris takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Morris. Again he is ready for more “action”. Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Morris Is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more “action”. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Morris gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, “I Am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Morris.”

Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says: “You mean I Was here already?”

The moral of the story: Don’t be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer’s has its advantages.

tags: alzheimer humor, golddigger humor, humor for seniors

tags: tequila is a wonder drink, tequila is good for you, tequila makes you do crazy things, tequila warning

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my

Husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of
characteristically

Telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a

Suggestion.

‘If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of

Toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds’

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in

Front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

‘How long will this take?’ I asked.

They will grow larger over a period of years,’ my husband replies. I

Stopped. ‘Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between

My breasts every day will make my breasts l arger over the years?’

Without missing a beat he says ‘Worked for your butt, didn’t it?’

He ’s still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk

Again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a

Straw.

Stupid, stupid man

tags: bad email humor, really bad email forwards, toilet paper humor

WHAT’S THIS?

It’s a “Hill-Billy”

tags: funny political photos, hilary clinton humor, hilbillies, hill-billy, hillary clinton pictures

This dog liked the snow way too much!!!!

If you like dogs click on this link and be ready to giggle!!!

tags: bailey the other reindeer, cute snow dog, dogs playing in the snow, the snow dog

Elective Surgery

Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.

The first woman said, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job.”

The second woman responded, “Oh, that’s nothing. I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached!”

“Whoa,” replied the first woman. “I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde!”

tags: bad humor, elective surgery bleaching, funny email forwards, really bad jokes

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.”

” Where are you going, coochy cooh?” asked the wife.

“I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’ m going to have a beer.”

The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could Think of saying was, “Yes, lolly pop..but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses…”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, puppy face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be long, I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”

You want hors d’oeuvres, poochi pooh?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

“But my sweet honey… at the bar… you know…there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”

“You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren’t fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?”

……..and, they lived happily ever after.

tags: funny marriage humor, have a beer at the bar, husband’s anonymous, husbands who can’t go out

Baked Beans - This is hilarious!

(This one is much too cute not to share. Enjoy! Be sure to grab a tissue; I think you’ll be laughing so hard you’ll cry!)

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor
of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released ALL the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: ‘Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!’

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my
weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage!!!

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
far ewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: ‘Happy Birthday

tags: baked beans cause bad gas, boston baked beans, humiliating baked bean experience