Dee’s Inbox

When you walk out the door in the morning
and see this, in the sky…..

Just go back in the house, pour another cup of coffee, and stay there.

It probably isn’t going to be a good day!

tags: cloud formations, funny weather forecast, interesting cloud formations, what do you see in this clould formation?

New use for Windex

It’ll keep you from streaking.

Have a Great Day!

Now, COME ON! That is funny. I don’t care who you are!!!

tags: streaker drinks windex, stupid email forwards, uses for windex

At 85 years of age, Morris married Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their Wedding she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected “knock” on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Morris, her 85 year old groom, ready for action.

They unite as one. All goes well, Morris takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Morris. Again he is ready for more “action”. Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Morris Is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more “action”. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Morris gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, “I Am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Morris.”

Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says: “You mean I Was here already?”

The moral of the story: Don’t be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer’s has its advantages.

tags: alzheimer humor, golddigger humor, humor for seniors

tags: tequila is a wonder drink, tequila is good for you, tequila makes you do crazy things, tequila warning

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my

Husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of
characteristically

Telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a

Suggestion.

‘If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of

Toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds’

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in

Front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

‘How long will this take?’ I asked.

They will grow larger over a period of years,’ my husband replies. I

Stopped. ‘Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between

My breasts every day will make my breasts l arger over the years?’

Without missing a beat he says ‘Worked for your butt, didn’t it?’

He ’s still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk

Again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a

Straw.

Stupid, stupid man

tags: bad email humor, really bad email forwards, toilet paper humor

Since we all can’t F*ck Matt Damon on Valentine’s Day I suggest loving the one your with!!!

tags: crazy songs, duets, matt damon duet, raunchy jimmy kimmel skit, sarah silverman scores with this duet

WHAT’S THIS?

It’s a “Hill-Billy”

tags: funny political photos, hilary clinton humor, hilbillies, hill-billy, hillary clinton pictures

This dog liked the snow way too much!!!!

If you like dogs click on this link and be ready to giggle!!!

tags: bailey the other reindeer, cute snow dog, dogs playing in the snow, the snow dog

Elective Surgery

Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.

The first woman said, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job.”

The second woman responded, “Oh, that’s nothing. I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached!”

“Whoa,” replied the first woman. “I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde!”

tags: bad humor, elective surgery bleaching, funny email forwards, really bad jokes

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.”

” Where are you going, coochy cooh?” asked the wife.

“I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’ m going to have a beer.”

The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could Think of saying was, “Yes, lolly pop..but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses…”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, puppy face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be long, I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”

You want hors d’oeuvres, poochi pooh?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

“But my sweet honey… at the bar… you know…there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”

“You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren’t fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?”

……..and, they lived happily ever after.

tags: funny marriage humor, have a beer at the bar, husband’s anonymous, husbands who can’t go out