Dee’s Inbox

If any of you have doubt about what we kids paid for a coke and a sandwich at Woolworths in the 1950’s, here’s proof of the era we lived……..and it was a GREAT ERA to live as a teenager !!!!

Difference Between Women And Men

1. NAMES

If Sue, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other
Sue, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as
Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it’s only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.

4. BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument.

6.CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man

9. MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change , and she does.

10. DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12 OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

AND FINALLY…

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”

“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

Eleven people were hanging on a rope,

under a helicopter.

10 men and 1 woman.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all,

so they decided that one had to leave,

because otherwise they were all going to fall.

They weren’t able to choose that person,

until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope,

because, as a woman,

she was used to giving up everything

for her husband and kids or for men in general,

and was used to always making sacrifices

with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech,

all the men started clapping . . . . . . .

SEND THIS MAIL TO AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN, SO

THAT SHE HAS SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT TODAY

This could happen to you.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
“Hi, how are you?”

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
“Doin’ just fine!”

And the other person says:
“So what are you up to?”

What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
“Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!”

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
“Can I come over?”

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
“No……I’m a little busy right now!!!”

Then I hear the person say nervously…
“Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, ‘I’m sorry, but you scared the
daylights out of me.’

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn’t realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, ‘No, no, I’m sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab……………….
I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.’

Icebergs in the Antarctic area sometimes have stripes, formed by
layers of snow that react to different conditions.

Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet fills
up with meltwater and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form.

When an iceberg falls into the sea, a layer of salty seawater can
freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a green
stripe.

Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up when
the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea.

Lets set the scene first:-

One 65′ custom-built motor yacht replete with 4 staterooms, state-of-the-art
galley, GPS System and navigation radar, twin supercharged diesel engines,
etc.

Cost:……………….. $4,500,000..00

Being prepared for maiden launch. Crane transfer from quayside to water.

Other costs

Crane + rigging + labour engaged
for 2 hours………………………………….= $2,500.00

Champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries with cream …..=$300.00

Music dockside for ’soon-to-be-owners’ and a small group of friends…. = $500.00

Photographer to capture the happy moment…………………………………………….. = $350.00

..and
then……

Watching from quayside as a ( $55.00 ) faulty turnbuckle on the
hoisting rig collapses & …………… your dream boat nosedives into the
harbor with two corporate representatives [ one in the bridge and the other seen
'hanging' in the stern ] performing the handover routine just prior to
inking the final paperwork…

PRICELESS!