Dee’s Inbox

This could happen to you.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
“Hi, how are you?”

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
“Doin’ just fine!”

And the other person says:
“So what are you up to?”

What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
“Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!”

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
“Can I come over?”

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
“No……I’m a little busy right now!!!”

Then I hear the person say nervously…
“Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions

When you walk out the door in the morning
and see this, in the sky…..

Just go back in the house, pour another cup of coffee, and stay there.

It probably isn’t going to be a good day!

tags: cloud formations, funny weather forecast, interesting cloud formations, what do you see in this clould formation?

You have been chosen to receive the Blessing of the Snow Fairy!

May you be blessed by his good deeds!

You must pass the Snow Fairy to 7 people within 60 seconds to receive your one year blessing….HURRY!

tags: funny chain emails, funny winter photos, snow fairy chain email

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs , the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. “When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

“Honey,” he said, “that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

A Prayer…….

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I’ll beat him to death, because I don’t know how to crochet.

tags: anger management, happy marriage, knit to cope with anger, shoe box

A woman was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice

A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
‘You must be single.’

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the
derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at the six items
on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that
could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said: ‘Well, you know what, you’re
absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?’

The drunk replied, ”Cause you’re ugly.’

tags: drunk at a supermarket, funny drunk humor, funny single humor, poor ugly lady in the supermarket

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn’t you like to
respond like this?…..
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the
wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I
didn’t have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn’t, because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina
nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter’s ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

WAL*MART won’t let me shop there anymore.

tags: funny email forwards, stupid people asking stupid questions, the purina diet, walmart humor

REMEMBER WHEN YOUR MOTHER TOLD YOU NEVER TO TAKE CANDY FROM A STRANGER….

..THIS IS WHO SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!!!

tags: candy with stranger, never take candy from this guy, stranger candy, stranger than candy, this is why you shouldn’t take candy from a stranger

You’ve got to see this.

1st look and see the Whale under the water.

Keep your cursor OUT of the picture until you see the Whale.

Then move your mouse cursor onto the picture, but stand back, you might get wet (it’s like it’s 3D). Click on the picture when it loads completely and be sure that your sound is on

CLICK ON: Worlds Most Dangerous Creature

tags: worlds most dangerous creature