Xmas » Dee’s Inbox

8th February 2008

Snow Dog

This dog liked the snow way too much!!!!

If you like dogs click on this link and be ready to giggle!!!

tags: bailey the other reindeer, cute snow dog, dogs playing in the snow, the snow dog

Danged Contemporary Architecture!

tags: contemporary homes pose a landing issue for santa, funny xmas cartoons, roof too sloped for santa to land

Subject: Christmas Party
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All Employees
>
> DATE: November 23, 2007
>
> RE: Christmas Party
>
>
> I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party
> will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function
room
> at the Grill House.
>
>
> There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a
> small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along.
>
>
> And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa
> Claus!
>
> A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts
> among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over
> $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering
> is only for employees!
>
> Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
>
> Merry Christmas to you and your family.
>
> Patty
>
> ********************************************
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All Employees
>
> DATE: November 23, 2007
>
> RE: Holiday Part y
>
>
> In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our
> Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday,
which
> often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However,
> from now on we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.”
>
> The same policy applies to any other employees who are not
> Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
> There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols
> sung.
>
> We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy
> now?
>
> Happy Holidays to you and your family.
>
> Patty
>
> ***********************************************
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All Employees
>
> DATE: November 23, 2007
>
> RE: Holiday Party
>
>
> Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
> Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table .. you didn’t sign your name.
I’m
> happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that
reads,
> “AA Only”; you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore.
>
> How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
>
> Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are
> allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and
> executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE
> ALLOWED.
> ———————————————
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> To: All Employees
>
> RE: Holiday Party
>
>
> What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20
> begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
> during daylight hours.
>
> There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a
> luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’
> beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until
the
> end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in
little
> foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
>
> Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to
> sit farthest from The dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table
> closest to the restrooms.
>
> Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
> have to sit with Gay men, each will h ave their own table. Yes, there will
be
> flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table.
>
> To the person asking permission to cross dress, no
> cross-dressing allowed t hough.
>
> We will have booster seats for short people.
>
> Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
>
> We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for
> those people with high blood pressure to taste first.
>
> There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the
> restaurant cannot supply “No Sugar” desserts. Sorry!
>
> Did I miss anything?!?!?
>
> Patty
>
> ************************************************
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All F****** Employees
>
> DATE: November 26, 2007
>
> RE: The F****** Holiday Party
>
>
> Vegetarian pricks I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going
> to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you
can
> sit quietly at the table furthest from the ” grill of death,” as you
> so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f****** salad bar, including
organic
> tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice
> them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW! I hope
you all
> have a rotten holiday!
>
> Drive drunk and die,
>
> The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!
>
> ****************************************** ***
>
>FROM: Acting Human Resources Director
>
> DATE: November 26, 2007
>
> RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
>
>
> I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a
> speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the
> meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give
everyone
> the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
>
>
> Happy Holidays!