Needs muffler, as it is currently VERY LOUD. Intake valve is stuck in the open position.

Rear end needs major overhaul. A crack there has grown monstrously large.

Needs re-wiring—Many wires are currently crossed.

Lots of little dings in the body, which have been covered up with too much paint in a
failed effort at camouflaging them.

Needs re-upholstering—Carpet has turned a dingy gray.

Needs front-end work–Tits are too close to the ground, and knees are too far apart.

May not pass emissions test, as it currently produces foul clouds of malodorous gases on a regular basis,

Heater works great. Hot air is never in short supply..

Asking $500 or trade for 1984 model.
· it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 641609489

These people were always finding water all over their pool deck and furniture, every time they came home, after being away for a few hours. They thought the neighborhood kids were waiting for them to leave, and using the pool. However, they could never catch them doing it. So, they set up their video cam and left. This is what they found.

I was fired for ordering the cups.

The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, ‘My hands are freezing cold.’
The girl replied, ‘Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up.’
He did and warmed his hands.

The following day, the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, ‘My nose is cold.’
The girl replied, ‘Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up’.
He did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, ‘My penis is frozen solid.’

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she says
to her mother, ‘Have you ever heard of a penis?’
Slightly concerned the mother said,’ Why, yes…?! Why do you ask?’
The daughter replies:
‘They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don’t they?!

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Just go back in the house, pour another cup of coffee, and stay there.

It probably isn’t going to be a good day!

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New use for Windex

It’ll keep you from streaking.

Have a Great Day!

Now, COME ON! That is funny. I don’t care who you are!!!

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Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their Wedding she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected “knock” on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Morris, her 85 year old groom, ready for action.

They unite as one. All goes well, Morris takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Morris. Again he is ready for more “action”. Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Morris Is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more “action”. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Morris gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, “I Am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Morris.”

Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says: “You mean I Was here already?”

The moral of the story: Don’t be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer’s has its advantages.

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